No one wants to hear about my life right now, so really you don't need to read this, I'm just going to write it out because there's nothing else I can do.

There are things I want to say, things that shouldn't be said for fear of ruining something important to me. A day gone by without laughter is a day wasted... so I laugh... but not full force. So I talk in riddles and yet few can penetrate the text enough to see what lies between the lines. I am as lost as a puppy starving on the streets of NY City. I can't make it on my own and though people say they can help... say they want to help and offer all they have. I can't accept such charity. I don't know why, but all of a sudden I feel as though I can't open up to anyone. How truely sad is that? To know there are people who care enough about you to offer anything they can to help and yet you deny them because you can't come to say a single thing that bothers you. Maybe I'm just losing a piece of myself... what piece that is exactly, I'm not sure. All I know is this is now starting to affect my health metally and physically.

I went to the doctor on Tuesday after I was sent home by the school nurse on Monday for looking rather "lathargic". Even the doctor said I looked really run down and tired. I probably should have told him about the sleeping disorder I've seemed to develop over the past couple of months, but I just couldn't. Every night I wake up once or twice crying... whether it's because of a dream I shouldn't have dreamt, or a nightmare I'm trying to escape... or even just waking up without a dream at all. I don't understand how this can be happening to me right now or even why! These dreams I see feel so real and so right, even the nightmares makes sense to me and all I gather from it is a box of tissues.

Then the morning arrives and I can barely heave myself out of bed and I walk around the school like a zombie. There will be no end to this I fear until something happens. That something is confidential and under lock and key at the moment and the power to unlock it rests in the hands of a single person who, regrettably, has no idea they even possess such power.

Ugh and then there's just my homelife stuff that's going on. If the Bank can refinance the house for my family we can stay here AND (oh here's the kicker) my mom can pay me back the one-thousand dollars she owes me, I get to FINALLY take Driver's Ed classes, AND AND AND I get my very own car with a custom paint job. Oh, but get this... BECAUSE all this wonderful stuff is on the line, with my luck, the bank will decide to be bitchy and just screw us over and say "Nope, pay up or get out in 30 days." For real? Yeah. My luck is that bad.

And you know what? I feel kind of bad because I'm turning 16 next month and my mom is throwing me this huge ass party. Which is really sweet and nice and I should be happy because this is a good thing, right? Wrong. My mom started paying for this party a year ago, when my dad still had his job and he was paying child support regularly. A month later he lost his job and the child support stopped coming. My mom had saved up a ton of money for my party and pre-paid for just about everything with te knowledge that there would be no refunds. I feel bad because she's throwing this party for me and its SO expensive and I just keep wondering if we had waited a month longer than we did, would we have that little bit of extra money to keep us out of this financial hole? I don't know... but it really bothers me a lot.

Hm... what else should I add? Hm... how about some happy things so nobody thinks I constantly LOOK for things to mope around about lol:

Naruto Shippuuden Baby!! FINALLY aired in the dub version on cable last week. I can't stad subs because I always seem too focused on the words and then I miss what's going on with the animation... so even though dub voices and acting is usually pretty bad, I still watch it, and I'm excited because it's on tonight at 8:30 on Disney XD (which USED to be toon disney or, I think they were also Jetix for awhile) (I know, it's shameful to see precious anime on Disney... that's a real disgrace to everything anime represents)

InuYasha: The Final Act!!! W00t!! I can't wait for the day when it finally comes out in dub format, but for now I'm watching it with subs and I'm sooo loving it. It's so close to the manga, so I'm thrilled.

Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood!!! lovelovelove!! Amazing amazing, my buddy Lisa got me hooked on FMA and I decided to watch this "brotherhood" thing she was going on about. Low and behold it's almost identical to the manga. So much better than the original FMA anime.

Tramps Like Us... ahhh, my newest manga addiction. So adorable I love it so much... but it's definitely a girl's manga.

Oh an then something happened today that ade me really really happy. Unfortunately (though I wish it would) this doesn't happen everyday (even though it probably could, which frustrates me further) but anyway. I was so happy that after I collected my homework from the office, I came back up the staircase clicking my heels together ad jumping up and down and dancing... and then I dropped my homework and it scattered all over the stairwell and I had to go collect it -_-' lol XD

And my apptitude for artistry has returned. Which is a good thing, so I might be posting some more things on DA. YaY! lol.

For now, I think that's it. I really hope you didn't force yourselves to read this whole thing because most of it is really depressing and boring. If you DID I'm in utter awe and amazement and your thoughts/opinions are welcome (since I obviously have no sense of direction in my life). anyway, thanks for rooting for me people. I'll be in touch.

~*♥*~Meg~*♥*~

Hm... what to say? Is it wrong or is it sad that I truly have no meaning for life anymore? Not sure. Obviously I'm not going to kill myself or anything... that would be completely anti-climatic, but lately I've noticed I'm not sleeping well at nights, I look like a zombie during the day, I get bitchy over silly things that I normally could care less about. Every waking moment my head is filled with meaningless wishes and pointless nonsense that will never occur in my whole existence. All I wanna do is cuddle up with a teddy bear in my bed with the blankets pulled over my head and cry myself into the dreamland where things aren't as bad.

I can't post anything on DA for fear that my friemds will freak on me... which I don't want anyone to worry about me, really... I think I'll manage and be fine on my own... I suppose I just really need a place to vent... but I don't exactly have someone to vent to anymore... and carpal tunnel makes keeping a written journal difficult. So this is the best thing I've got now, but I don't always have the time or patience to type out all my bottled-up feelings.

See, I'm kind of in the Color Guard now. BEST DAMN THING EVER! lol XD Being in Guard is really difficult for me, but I love it so much. Plus I get to chill out with the band and go to all the football games and perform at halftime. But, it takes up so much time and I never really have any time to myself anymore. So just so everyone knows the season is almost over, starting November I'll probably get online more often since I won't be participating in Winter Guard due to an injury. So hopefully you'll hear more from me at some other point in the near future.

Uhm... is there anything else? Hm... I"m trying to think. Er, I made third chair in the Viola section of my Orchestra, that's exciting considering I'm a terrible player... we have a concert next week on Tuesday. fun fun fun. Uhm... my grades suck... I don't really want to go into details, but I was out of school with swine flu for a week and then I came back and I was failing all my classes... not fun... now I'm barely passing. Aaaannnnddd.... I think that's about it. My life really sucks right now and nothing is really going right... I mean my Dad's still out of work after a YEAR and he's about to lose his unemployment, my mom is losing her house so I'm probably going to be moving since the bank is getting ready to foreclose on the house and evict us, and my family has no money or food... oh yeah... that's the shizz right there... meh.

Anyway, I'm really tired. The football team lost for the first time this season tonight, and I am feeling rather depressed and lathargic. So... I'ma going to sleep me thinks. Catch you guys on the flipside. If you reach the bottom here, kudos to you! lol, and thanks for reading all of that because honestly you probably didn't have to.

Later!
~♥Megs

Hello, welcome to the Summer Movie Review Board! With the Mega-Awesome Movie Critic, Me! lol.

Okay, anyway. I've been to just about every summer movie so far (and then some) and I must say that some movies are not living up to their full potential, while others are leaving you to want more and more (as a good movie should).

The Proposal

Okay, Ima try to make this uber quick because I need to get to bed because I'm tired from a long and exhausting day, and I have to wake up really early in the morning... so here I go:

Ready for the epic comedy of fun? Go on, have at it! The Proposal stars Sandra Bullock as Margaret Tate and Ryan Renolds as Andrew Paxton in a movie that will leave you laughing again and again.

Margart is a bitchy executive editor who is in charge of literally everything within her office building. You DO NOT question Margaret Tate. Andrew is a clumsy oaf who's the secretary of Miss. Tate and in charge of... well... getting her a laté every morning. He DOES NOT question Margaret Tate.

The movie starts at their office where Margaret has just fired some shmoe named Bob who obviously has anger issues and wasn't pulling his weight when it came to the company. Margaret is then pulled into a meeting with her own bosses and is told she is being deported back to Canada.

At this moment, Andrew enteres the room saying that "Mary" is on the phone, but seeing that Margaret is busy he claims he will tell the woman on the phone that Margaret is otherwise "engaged". Margaret, who has now formed a plan, tells him to come on into the room. She then tells her bosses that she and Andrew are getting married, which is completely akward for Andrew because he has no idea what's going on. The bosses state that if she and Andrew make the marriage legal then the whole matter will be resolved.

As I am pressed for time and excruciatingly tired, I see fit to wrap this up as quickly as I can. This movie has no words for how demandingly funny it is, and nothing I type will do it justice. As such, I don't feel like ruining this whole movie for you as I have done with the previous two, lol.

If you're ready--or even if you're not ready--for an Alaskan mansion, a crazy granny, a blanket named "the babymaker", a stripper, or maybe even a dog-eating eagle, this is definitely one chick flick you will NOT want to miss!

My Rating: ***** Wh00t!
My Review: Two thumbs way up for acting, intrigue, and plot. The ending is almost a cliffhanger where the main idea of the story isn't resolved; on its own I don't like that, BUT I hold hope that this movie will have only one sequal in which the loose ends will all "tie the knot". Most certainly earns Thrills! Well done!

To Be Continued...

Hello, welcome to the Summer Movie Review Board! With the Mega-Awesome Movie Critic, Me! lol.

Okay, anyway. I've been to just about every summer movie so far (and then some) and I must say that some movies are not living up to their full potential, while others are leaving you to want more and more (as a good movie should).

UP

Who's interested in a light-hearted comedy about a boy-scout trying to earn one of his badges by helping an elderly man as they fly away into a sky full of laugh riots? Well, sorry, UP is not that movie.

The previews you see on television is about as funny as the movie gets. The whole rest of it is full of... well... I'll just tell you.

The movie begins with a young kid, he's an accident waiting to happen, lol. His hero, an Explorer who traveled to South America and back with an extrodinary set of bird bones, is now being accused of fraud and has vowed to find another of the bird-creatures alive, refusing to return until he finds the creature. Well, this doesn't down the kid's hope, he still wants to be an explorer just like his hero.

Then he finds himself in an old abandoned home that's been boarded up and condemned... he's looking for his balloon. By this point in the movie, I'm thinking, where's the boy scout? Well, the movie certainly takes it's time to get to the actual story.

Suddenly a crazy... and I mean CRAZY girl shows up. She immediately tells him her name is Ellie. She has an EXTREMELY short-lived attention span. She gives him a bottlecap-button that reads "Grape Soda" and tells him he's now part of her club and they are going to have to do whatever it takes to become explorers (her hero and her goal/life ambition is the same as the young boy's). She pulls out her "Adventure book and flips it to the page that reads "What I'm Going To Do". Her plan was to travel to "Paradise Falls" and build her clubhouse next to it. Then she would live out the remainer of her life there.

So far, it doesn't sound too bad, right? Well, here's where it start getting kind of depressing. So Ellie and (I think his name was Carl) get married and move into the abandoned home. They fix it up and paint it and decorate it and a living happily. Ellie works as a Zookeeper and ?Carl? sells balloons at the Zoo. They are continueously trying to save up for their big trip to Paradise Falls, but something always gets in their way. They start talking about having kids and the next scene shows them at the hospital where Ellie is being told something (they cut out the sound). I don't know what was said, but Ellie was in tears and Carl was behind her with comforting hands on her shoulders. The Doctor was obviously telling her either she can't have kids or she lost one or something around those lines.

So Ellie spirals down into a depression and Carl pulls out the "My Adventure Book". The two live a full life together, but are never able to make it to their goal. Then an elderly Ellie is rushed to the hospital. You see her give Carl the "My Adventure Book" and the next scene switches to Carl in a funeral home.

Now this whole time as I'm sitting in the theatre I can hear little kids asking their parents what's going on. Things like "Mommy, why is he so sad?" or "Daddy, why is that man crying?"

I thought I was going to see a comedy... not a TRADGEDY!

So then the movie picks up and Carl is alone, living in this old rickety house that's the one lot that hasn't been touched by construction within the surrounding area. Then a worker runs over his mailbox... so what does he do when the man appologizes and attempts to fix the damage? Carl beats him up with his cane!! Usually, that would be funny, but this was just terrible! The old man gives the worker a concussion and Carl gets sent to court. Then he's being sent away to a retirement home because he's a "Menace to Society".

So to escape his troubled life, he ties thousands of balloons to his house and flies away. Unfortunately the boy scout, Russell, tagged along. Blah, blah, blah, yeah they make it to Paradise Falls, but they're on the wrong side of this... canyon or something. So, Russell finds this bird that loves chocolate and names it Kevin and begs "Mister Fredrickson" if he can keep it. Then they realize, "Oh, Kevin's a girl and she needs to get home to her babies... we gotta help her!" Well, Carl's not interested in helping the bird, he's too busy walking his house over to the waterfall. Then they are found by Doug. The "dumb" golden retriever who is the lowest in rank of his pack of dogs. He has this collar that allows him to communicate with people. Cool, nice... okay, so now what? Well, we get to meet the old loon who used to be Carl's hero... he tries to slay Carl, but you know, nothing dramatic or anything. Sicks his fifty dogs on Carl and Russell, but that's it. Then he captures Kevin and Carl parks his house beside the waterfall. You know, throughout the movie he talks to "Ellie" but when he says her name he looks at his house... it's kind of creepy actually... it's like he's talking to himself.

Well, okay, so Russell goes to save Kevin and Carl stays in his house. So he picks up the "My Adventure Book" and finds out Ellie had filled in the rest of the pages with memories from their life together, and really... to be honest, it's rather sad. Then at the bottom of the last page she wrote "Thanks for the adventure... now go have a new one!"

So all of a sudden he's have second thoughts about the whole mess and he goes and saves Russell, letting his old idol fall to his death off a cliff and then takes the dude's air ship. Now that's just wrong! Then Kevin is returned to her babies, Doug becomes alpha dog, Russell gets his helping the elderly badge, and the movie ends with Carl and Russell sitting on the sidewalk eating ice cream together and counting the red and blue cars that pass by. "Red" "blue" "red... red" "Mr. Fredrickson, that's a bike." "Well, it's red, isn't it?" lol. Love it. Oh and apparently, parking an airship in the handicap lot is okay. Wow.

My Rating Out of Five: ***
My Review: Yeah, some parts were funny... but like I stated before, I felt like I wasted my money and went to see a Tradgedy, not the Comedy I was promised. Sorry... UP receives Chills.

To Be Continued...

Hello, welcome to the Summer Movie Review Board! With the Mega-Awesome Movie Critic, Me! lol.

Okay, anyway. I've been to just about every summer movie so far (an then some) and I must say that some movies are not living up to their full potential, while others are leaving you to want more and more (as a good movie should).

Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian

If you walk into the theatre expecting a gripping tale of how everyone's favorite night guard gets transfered to the Smithsonian and has another great adventure ending in friendship.... then you're going to be highly disappointed.

This movie begins two years later where Larry has become a successful inventor and even has his own company. Larry takes one night to go visit his old friends at the Museum of Natural History only to learn that a surprising amount of the exhibits are being replaced by new holographic exhibits. Weird. Okay, so only Teddy, The Egypitian King, and Rexy are staying behind, along with the tablet that allows them to come alive at night.

Larry returns to his life when the next night he receives a phone call from none other than Jedadiah. He says that he and the others are under attack and that Dexter, the chimp, stole the egyptian tablet. Larry hurries to save the day and arrives in D.C. in the late afternoon. He walks around the museum trying to figure out a way beneath the museum where all the storage rooms are. Larry's son Nicky (not sure if that's how his name is spelled) has somehow gained the knowledge to hack into the network and gain the blueprints of the Smithsonian museum giving his father step-by-step directions on where to go.

Then Larry tricks this night guard named Brunden and steals his ID card and gains access to the underground storage. Okay, fine. So now he finds boxes upon crates upon train cars of old exhibits and he's looking for one. I think the one where all the egyptian spears are pointed at is a good guess. Apparently Akmenrah's brother wants to rule the world because his parents liked Akmenrah better. Lame. Why can't we get a better plot than that? Okay, so now this Egyptian-Pharoh-Wannabe wants the tablet to call upon the undead so he can dominate the world.

He gathers some gangsters, Napoleon, and Aivan the Terrible to be his cohorts in this scheme. Augh, can this get any more cliché? Sadly, yes, and much more annoying. Allow me to introduce to you, Amelia Earhart! Offically the most annoying woman to have walked the planet AND flown an airplane. Throughout the entire movie Amelia is saying she's being left out because she's a woman and Larry is sexist. Meanwhile she is obviously extremely attracted to him and forces herself on him. It's quite obvious that the producers want the audience to fall for Amelia/Larry, but between the sexist comments, constant reminders of her first flight, and phony catch phrases, it definitely looks like we've been "jimmy-jacked"!

The movie ends with Pharoh-wannabe getting sucked into what is undoubtedly the world of the dead and all the original characters (and the tablet)returning to the Museum of Natural History, including Larry who has decided to resume his position as night guard there. The museum is now open at night for visitors... hm... you would think someone would notice that all the holograph machines are turned off, there aren't any statues, and yet there's still wax people in costumes running around. Oh well.

My Rating Out of Five: ***
Review: With Ameilia Earhart? Definitely Chills.

To Be Continued...